Today, for therapy, we have something that brings me at least as much joy as stress, and I promise it is easy.
No, no, please don't run away!
I know that Nero Wolfe fusses over them, with a full time orchid tender in his employ, and even in V for Vendetta one of the villains was seen carefully adding droplets of water to his orchids. I promise you I do not (usually) do that.
The absolute easiest orchids I own are the ones you see hanging. I run them under room temperature water while I'm drinking my morning coffee or tea. And that's it. A semi-daily habit (I probably have time to water them about 3 or 4 times a week, really). One of them even won a ribbon at the local orchid show, so that's rather nice.
Here's how to do it:
1. One of my favorite sources for orchids is Andy's Orchids. Though I also like Cloud's Orchids, and my wee little ribbon winning orchid was from Oak Hill. Ok, I just like to buy orchids. Did I mention that you probably have hobbyists turned breeders in your area that you can find with just a little searching?
I will say that every single orchid I've bought from a grocery store or hardware store has died. If I got to be raised in a tropical climate, then got shoved in a box, sent somewhere cold, and never got fed or watered until after I'd found a different home with yet another climate to get used to I'd probably fare poorly, too.
Buy from an orchid specialist. I've gotten plants for $4 during sales and shows, so it's not too painful of an investment.
Anyway, step one is find a good source for orchids. Did I mention that it's hard to get oxygen when congested?
2. Buy an EASY, MINIATURE, MOUNTED orchid. When you are shopping try to match light requirements with your intended window.
I like Andy's site because there's a scroll down box where I can select "Stick" or "cork" for the mount, and then I just check off Easy and Miniature. The miniatures are less likely to take over your entire window and grow into the wood of your windowsill. Just sayin'.
You probably have noticed that some of the orchids are weird. They don't look like corsages. Those are my favorites.
3. Start hoarding orchids.
4. Actually hanging the orchids is easy.
You will need:
1 picture frame wire
- Just screw the eye-screws about where you would like to hang your orchid(s) from, 4-6 inches from the window glass (I promise it is worth it) Technically, ours are screwed into the cabinets, because our windows have a rotten draft
- Make sure your orchids won't be pressing into the glass at the distance you pick! Try to have at least an inch "buffer" between the orchids and the window, or they might get frost nipped in the winter
- String the wire, wrapping the ends around to secure (just like with hanging pictures)
- hang your orchids
- water once a day or so - it is extremely difficult, unless you're trying, to over-water mounted orchids